Snakes on a Lane

After a huge scare last week in which I allowed Brandon to come with one point of me in the Bet, I kicked it up a notch and bowled my booty off. We started off well, with two of us bowling over our averages and two just shy of it. But we couldn’t overcome the Fabulous 4 with one teammate bowling 44 pins over his average. That was okay, though, we still had a potential to win 5 points. Second game: we all bowled over our averages (it’s been a long, long time since that has happened) and for sure we thought we had them but somehow, they got that game as well. Let’s just try and get at least two points…we can do it. Last game, two of us bowled over our averages and two did not so when the other team earned two points, we couldn’t blame anybody but ourselves for our disappointing showing. Lost 7 points, very sad.

So while Brandon was pouting, he put Bob in charge of adding up the scores and that was when things got interesting. Bob couldn’t figure out why the numbers weren’t adding up to what was on the screen.  Apparently he had drank a bit too much beer.  After quite of bit of chattering, we found out that the other team had put their handicap in the computer incorrectly, thereby giving themselves more of a handicap, which means…we really won 5 points! Woo-hoo! We’re not losers after all. Hopefully, these points will keep us in the top  because we want to win some money!

And by the way, because of my awesomeness at bowling, I am now five points ahead of Brandon in the Bet.  Let’s hope I don’t eff it up in the last week of bowling.

This week we bowled against KNC, a team that is intense with their bowling and with their ability to have a good time. We started off with a bang, capitalizing on their slow start and our 61 pin handicap advantage. We took the first game, giving us a bit of a confidence boost. The second game was not as pretty as the first, due in part to my 134 and Joel, on the other team, bowling a 265. Boo me for being so bad and boo him for being so good. As we started the third game, Mel gave the signal to Brad at the front desk to kick out the jams with a mix CD of early 90’s techno and hip hop super hits. Tag Team, Naughty by Nature, 2 Live Crew, Salt ‘n’ Pepa, and that one song from Bring It On (you know, the one with the spirit fingers) provided the soundtrack for some awesome bowling. 7 of the 8 bowlers beat their averages with Brandon hitting a 225 and Joel on the other team dropping a 268 on us (for a 714 series(!)). Not content with simply scoring well, I started a trend by booty shaking after a spare pickup. One thing led to another and soon everyone was doing their strike dance (or spare dance). We even go the old stick in the mud Rich to show us his Tootsie Roll after a particularly emphatic strike. Unfortunately, our dance moves were not enough to prevail in the third game. We kept close enough to win the overall score, though, which was nice.

I am a little worried now because my lead was trimmed by one point tonight. It seems that Brandon is very intent on not going to afternoon tea and would like to have lunch at the Penthouse Club, instead. What? You would rather have boobs than tea and crumpets? That’s crazy talk. Oh, no, there will be no nekkid booby-shaking my way, the gauntlet has been thrown, I must not lose my dignity.

This week we bowled really quickly. The entire other team and Brandon had prebowled due to the Daytona 500 being that Sunday afternoon; evidently it’s some sort of holiday for a particular demographic. The Rockets had prebowled pretty well, but we weren’t too concerned with the lead Brandon gave us. Of course, Andrew and I fucked it up.

We lost the first game, with none of us beating our averages (I came closest, tying my average for no points). If we had bowled against a blind, we still wouldn’t have won that game. The second game, Jen and Brandon carried us, with each of them being 30+ pins over their average. Thankfully, the Rockets tanked the second game and we won by one pin more than we lost in the first game. So teamwise, we each have two points, and we have a 1 pin lead in the overall after the first two games. We knew the third game would be a challenge with the Rockets rolling an 830, but with Brandon’s 244 and Jen’s 180, we felt like we were in good position. It came down to the tenth frame for me. I got a spare to start the frame, then I needed 7 to win outright. I tugged it for a 6. We tied the third game, splitting that point, and won the overall by 1 pin. So we ended up 4-3 this week, but it feels like a loss. Oy.

So last night, i headed up to Olivette to pre-bowl since I will be out of town this weekend. This was my first time prebowling this season and generally, I don’t prebowl well. Bob came with me to be my “oral” support, meaning so that I have somebody to drink with. Of course, he was already half-cocked from the wine.

The first was a typical pre-bowl game. I struggled to find a line and was all over the place. The lanes were pretty dry and my black widow was finding it hard to stay on the right side of the head pin. I ended up shooting a 171. Not really a great start but I was closer to my average than Bob was when he prebowled the week before.

After the lack of control during the first game, I switched over to my well-used Messenger that typically never lets me down. Meanwhile, Bob and I engage in our 2nd pitcher. The second game started mediocre and I was on pace for a dutch 200 through the first five frames. But I was able to string some together and ended with a 220, which was more than 25 over average so thats two points towards the bet.

Yeah, a 3rd pitcher is definately a good idea. My goal was to try to stay consistent in the 3rd game and just best my average. However, that was not the case because I put together a good run of strikes. Meanwhile, Bob has now passed the “buzzed bowling is good bowling” point and was now on the “i can’t keep it out of the gutter” path. That’s ok though since I was driving and he wasn’t prebowling. I ended up with at 244 earning another two points towards the bet.

So, recap. 171 220 244 = 635 and 4 points. More beer seems to be the way to go to bowl well. This also gives me four weeks over 600 and averaging 214 during this stretch. Ah, its good to be back. I just hope I can stay here and help get us back to 1st place.

After several weeks of being #1, SOAL succumbed to the pressure of being so good and lost 7 straight points this past week. It could be that we had a week off, the bitter cold or that one of our members was missing. We couldn’t pinpoint why we got our butts kicked, the fact is that we did. It all started off with Bob’s terrible showing during his pre-bowl. If he hadn’t have bowled beforehand, we may have had a chance. A dismal three games in which he was unable to attain his average. After hearing his scores, we were a bit shook up when we walked into the bowling alley to face Taking Care of Business. Well, not only did we have to bowl against a team in which we had to give them 87 pins, they were the second place team, only 4 points behind us. Damn. We came pretty close the first game which meant that they were beatable. It helped that Brandon bowled a 225 and I bowled a 163, that boosted Andrew’s poor 139 and Bob’s 131. But that wasn’t enough and we lost by 13 pins. We were annihilated in second and it was due to Butt Crack’s 244 (every time this guy bowls, you see his butt crack and I don’t mean a little bit, I mean his whole ass is hanging out, ewwww). That was 98 pins above his average. Yeah, we had no chance. We even improved on the last game, the other team just bowled better than us. But I did score 184, which was the highest score out of everyone in the third game (yea me). That meant we fell to 2nd place, but I have faith that we can regain the #1 position. In the end, I ended up with 4 points, Brandon 3, and Andrew and Bob received 0 points. It’s time for me to gloat a bit, I’m pulling ahead!!!

Meat meat meat meat, meat meat meat meat.

(Snap out of it!)

OK, so tonight we went to Bacana, a Brazilian meat-on-a-stick joint in Chesterfield as my reward for winning the first half bet with the bowling team and the evening was meaty. For those who don’t know, waiters come around to the table with meat on large skewers and cut of hunks for you while you sit there and bask in the meatiness of it all. The highlight was the beef tenderloin, but we also enjoyed the filet, garlic filet, top sirloin, pork tenderloin, sausage, chicken wings, bacon-wrapped chicken, shrimp, lamb, and block steak.

All in all, it was a meaty evening.

After sufficiently shaming Brandon and Andrew for not taking seven points from Chops et al, we came in this week ready to defend our first place. We were competing against Mayo and his team. He was very serious about his bowling that he wouldn’t even let us put the football game on our screen, it would be too distracting. Well even without it, we still beat them so nah-nah-nah-boo-boo!

I guess Bob and I were still on vacation during the first game because we did not bowl our average. Luckily, our captain saved the day. Brandon decided that this was the game that he was going to bowl like a rock star. First frame: strike. Second frame: strike. Third frame: strike. Nothing unusual with a turkey. Fourth frame: strike. Hambone. Not bad. Fifth frame: strike. Well, he’s on a streak. Sixth frame: strike. Don’t ask about his $600 from Motel 6, we might jinx him. Seventh frame: strike. You only need 5 more strikes! Eighth frame: strike. Everyone is watching him now. But we’re not saying anything to him about it, as if he wasn’t SO CLOSE to a perfect game. Ninth frame: strike. Holy crap!!!! Ten frame: no one is breathing as he walked up to the lane. All eyes are fixated on him and what he was going to throw. He takes his approach, releases the ball and then…9. The entire house groaned, then applauded his streak. And to add salt to the wound, he missed his spare. Still, 9 in a row and a 267. Not too shabby. A good thing too, since only he and Andrew made their averages. We ended up winning by 78 though.

Second game, Jen and Andrew came back and both earned two points with a 179 and a 197, respectively. Bob continued to scuffle along, 9 points under average. Brandon had decided that the first game was good enough for him, coming in one point under average. Spare Parts bowled 58 pins better than the first game, but we still held on to win by 18.

Third game was a big one for the Snakes as Jen and Bob earned two points and Brandon and Andrew each earned one, with the team coming in 754 scratch and 860 handicap to win by 90 and secure all seven points for the team. We remained in first place and continue our romp through the second half next week again Mr. Tight Pants.

The snakes come into week 21 with a record of 23 and 5, sitting in first place by 4 points. Anticipations where high to remain in first, fueled by our desire to not give up any points to Delaney’s team (alleged wife beater last season who has become a much nicer person in public this season). As everybody knows from the previous post, Bob and Jen prebowled and did pretty well. Also, in our favor, was that we got 67 pins each game in handicap from The Rednecks. So, throw all that in a bowl and stir and what you get is hopefully 7 easy points.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, that is not how the night would unfold. The first game appeared to be going in our favor, eeven though Andrew and myself were bowling like shit. Not getting strikes and hitting way too many splits. Then, Delaney of the Rednecks strings 5 or 6 in a row, including all 3 in the 10th. The game just kept slipping away and the two of us just couldn’t get a grip on it. The Rednecks would take game one by 39 pins.

The second game was better, merely due to the fact that The Rednecks start bowling shitty. Also, the lanes started to act retarded. Pocket shots would leave splits and head-on shots would blow up. However, the game was again slipping away and there wasn’t anything that Andrew or I could do. We just didn’t have it. The Rednecks would again win, by 3 pins. We won’t mention that I opened in the 10th, meaning that had I not, we would have won.

The third game was much better as Andrew and I started throwing what the house apparently wanted, head on and Brooklyn shots. The snakes needed to win by 43 pins to take home 3 points on the night. Andrew and I would eventually hit a stride that should never had worked, but luck was in our favor. Even though Jessica was 70 pins over her 154 average, Bob put up a huge number to give us a big ass cushion in the 3rd game. The other Rednecks would falter and shoot under average. The snakes won the 3rd game…………..by 108 pins. We shot 785 scratch, which is higher than the previous 2 games handicapped totals.

So overall, we won 3 points, which is not at all what we wanted. However, knowing that we were in first place by 4 points and we won 3 points, the worst position we could fall to is TIED for first place.

Bob and Jen, Andrew and I are sorry………

Jen and I are going down to Florida to torture ourselves over 13.1 miles of the Magic Kingdom, so we got in a quick prebowl tonight. And quite frankly, if we are going to bowl like this, we should prebowl every week.

Boys, you are going to have a good time of it this weekend. Watch out for Chops (he dropped a 715 last week), and try to stay out of the way of the wifebeater.

For the record: I needed all three in the tenth in the first game for the point. Got it. Needed the first two and change in the tenth in the second. Got it, and the third for good measure. Only got the first two and 7 in the third game, but starting out with six in a row was cushion enough. I was a little afraid I’d throw a 300 in prebowl, to be honest.

The Bits-n-Pieces League always has a holiday party right before Christmas, which basically means that every team has to bring something to share. Of course, we were too lazy to actually make something, Bob ran out and got a veggie tray from Sams (it’s a great veggie tray). And as part of the spirit of giving, the team we bowled that night was generous enough to give us 7 points. So, yeah, we kicked booty that night. Of course, there was a little bit of drama involved to make the night more interesting. Brandon decided to liven up the party by falling onto the lane when he went up to bowl, twice. We are talking about throwing himself down the lane. It was pretty scary, but he was a true athlete, he just got up and bowled again with no complaints. Unlike the other team, where this one guy kept complaining about our strikes and how we all didn’t deserve them. Wah-wah! Andrew finally woke up and bowled like himself, earning 4 points.  Bob came out of the gate roaring in the first game, went to raid the food table during the second game, when he was full, he came back to bowl in the third, so 3 points for him.  Brandon was unable to obtain any points for the week, due to the fact that he was injured.  And then there’s me.  Yea, me.  I beat the boys in the second game (I was very excited about that) and bowled well in the third.  We won’t mention the first game.  That means, 4 points for me.  Merry Christmas to all of us.